🔗 Share this article

“Well, conditions are quite harsh here. The guidance we offer all of our clients to invest all their resources into preserved goods and firearms.” This piece of shrewd guidance comes from the Brain Gremlin – a genetically modified, articulate, spectacled member of the slimy Gremlin horde that overruns Manhattan’s ultra-modern Clamp Tower skyscraper in helmer Joe Dante’s madcap sequel Gremlins 2: The New Batch. On the surface, it’s merely an portfolio pointer from one monster to another. But, oddly enough, it’s also pretty solid life guidance. Seriously, listen to my reasoning.

When situations deteriorate, the biggest mistake you can do is take things too seriously. The Brain Gremlin understands this. Indeed, the majority of the toothy monsters that populate Dante’s chaotic 1990 feature (arguably his best) possess the same knowing, self-referential sense of humour regarding the indistinct border separating everyday life and pure pandemonium. It’s a particular aspect of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that ensures my return – and as I age, it’s the message that echoes the loudest.

An Early Life Obsession

Understandably, my attachment to this movie did not begin on such an introspective level. As a child, we possessed merely a few scratched-up video tapes at home. Part of that group were Gremlins and its follow-up, the latter housed in a chunky ex-rental box probably bought from an independent video outlet and boasting growling monsters on its worn-out artwork. I was immediately enamoured and these films quickly proceeded lodging themselves inside my tiny, impressionable mind. Henceforth, they became an near-everyday part of my youthful watching schedule.

Dante’s original commonly garners all the accolades, thanks primarily due to its legacy as a semi-scary seasonal fave – and let me be clear, I’ve watched Gremlins an incalculable number of times. However, its follow-up infrequently obtains the same level of high regard, which feels a travesty. As a kid, I’d always seize the chance to watch Gremlins 2. During bright summer vacations, I’d seclude myself indoors and stick it on. When I acquired my personal TV-VHS combo unit, it stayed in constant rotation in my bedroom. Over time, it ingrained itself in my psyche. If my parents detected this preoccupation, they didn’t seem to mind.

Hidden Discoveries and Cultural References

As I got older, new understandings enhanced repeat viewings, heightening the enjoyment of watching diminutive verdant beasts gleefully trash a New York high-rise. I learned the ahead-of-its-time property magnate and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was based squarely upon the eventual commander-in-chief Donald Trump, with his red-headed employee Marla (Haviland Morris) referencing his former spouse Marla Maples. Thankfully, Clamp possesses greater compassion than his genuine article inspiration.

The “apocalyptic” video Clamp plays during peak-Gremlin chaos? I discovered it was modeled after a actual “Doomsday” video produced by the CNN boss Ted Turner should the world truly faced apocalypse. I noticed how Dante made a special effort to film different iterations of a meta sequence where Gremlins seize control of the exact movie you are viewing. One for cinemas, a separate one for tape and broadcast, each providing a grinning portion of meta pop-culture magic before the term was even a thing.

A Persistent Appeal

While it was effects expert Rick Baker’s fantastically vile creatures that captured my attention as a child, this hidden treasure held my interest as an adult. In time, I even interviewed Dante about it myself and he had no qualms telling me he made the movie with the express purpose of mocking those who loved its silly-yet-sincere predecessor and craved further installments. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he gleefully confessed. This Looney Tunes-esque insubordination and commitment to not take his sequel as solemnly as his Warner Bros bosses clearly wanted him to, only increased my affection for it.

When I experienced a unexpected loss in the family recently, I was taken aback to discover that, during my most profound sorrow, all I desired to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Strange, isn’t it? Maybe not. The soothing reminiscence it offered was necessary to weaken my mind’s grief morass – but the stuff it had bestowed upon me as an adult were just as useful.

Like Gremlins rampaging through a genetics laboratory, there’s certain elements in life you just cannot manage. Dante is aware of it. The Brain Gremlin shares this wisdom. Sometimes, you have to be like them: accept the turmoil, put everything you’ve got into tinned provisions and hunting rifles and try not to take things too seriously.

It’s strong life advice from a very unlikely source – and it’s the reason Gremlins 2: The New Batch will always be my comfort movie.